Where Have All the Good Cats Gone?

part 1 of 2

Mark Twain once said, “Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.” -Notebook, 1894

For thousands of years, we playthings of the cat have fed, watered, housed, cleaned up after, and adored these cuddly killers. And, in turn, they lie on our laps and purr their way into our hearts. According to Statista, cat owners in America spent on average $1,381.00 per cat for all expenses in 2019. That’s a lot of purring.

We love our cats. Men and women alike. In fact, more and more men are making the choice for a cat than ever before. According to Civilized, roughly one million more men became cat owners in the U.K. in 2017. Smart Brits. (See also the great article at Senior Cat Wellness.com: Is It Weird For A Man To Have A Cat? -by Richard Parker.)

And So It Begins

But let’s get to your story. You rescued that little stray you’d been feeding on your porch for a month. You weren’t sure at first but just couldn’t leave him out there. Winter was coming. So you stole him from the mean streets but had no idea it was him who was rescuing you.

Now your new best friend, Pippin, comes and curls up on your lap letting you stroke his fur while relaxing to the rhythmic purring. You buy kitty toys and the two of you bond as he learns to be a mighty hunter. You go online and read on the Spruce Pets that “…interactive playing with cats is not only fun, it provides valuable exercise for cats of all ages. Just as important, it strengthens the feline-human bond.”

Pippin grows into a beautiful, if somewhat chunky, house cat who loves being brushed, lying in the sun, and eating. He also loves to play ‘kill the catnip mouse,’ ‘tear the life out of the string,’ and other wholesome kitty games with you. The bond strengthens.

Ah, the joys of cat ownership. I’m sure you’re still just as thrilled today, right?

Wait. What’s that? He stopped playing those games? He no longer sleeps with you on chilly nights or lies purring in your lap when you’re watching TV? He won’t eat that organic cat food you paid a fortune for? You said he loved that. And he doesn’t come running when you open a new bag of his favorite crispety-crunchety treats?

Instead, he’s peeing on the wall by the TV; no longer wants to play with your shoestrings; and he bit you the last time you tried to pick him up and put him in your lap. OK, then.

Did someone replace Pippin with his evil twin?

The Changeling

You come home from the office one afternoon and smell that amazingly potent odor only a cat can produce. You check the litter box, nope. You check the other litter box, nope. Your nose leads the way to the closet where Pippin left his mark on that new bomber jacket you bought…for $1,700.00.

You’d rather he stuck to peeing on the wall by the TV.

After rushing out and buying a new gallon of Urine Blaster, shop towels, and dropping into “There’s a Time to Dry and a Time to Clean,” you head home only to find two more places Pippin ‘visited’ while you were out.

Things are getting serious…seriously stinky.

Then the phone rings…”Hi, Mom.”

Looks like your parents are coming into town tomorrow and are planning on staying with you for a week. Your mother’s the neat freak. Your dad has bad cat allergies. So you move Pippin’s bed to the basement along with his toys and one of his litter boxes. Time to disinfect every surface in the house you can reach — Mom’s too short to see the top of the fridge.

But the first night…oh, Pippin!

Have you ever seen Poltergeist? Your Mom and Dad’s first night at Castle Grey-Cat ends the same way…at a hotel. But you stay and clean up the shredded toilet paper; the pile of ‘that-which-shall-not-be-named’ on the basement floor beside his litter box; and the puddle of pee your mom stepped in, slipped, and fell, cursing.

What happened to your sweet little cuddle buddy? When did he start channeling Chucky?

A Lesson in the Language of Cats

Let’s step back and take a look at Pippin’s problems…being sure to glance behind us and on the floor, just in case. I mean, he deserves the benefit of the doubt, right? Right?

For starters, cats have many similar emotions to humans. “They can feel fear, happiness, sadness, curiosity, anger, grief and anxiety, to name a few.” -Catological

And, get this, they can read and even understand human facial expressions over time.

You’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy!

Cats, as we know from numerous studies in the wild, in zoos, and even homes, are notoriously territorial. Think Jaws hanging around Amity Island in the mid ‘70’s. So they are very sensitive to any changes in their environment. In Pippin’s case, that’s your house. To you, it’s home; to him, it’s the whole world.

Let’s look at the first ‘chilly responses’ he gave you. By the time you noticed him not lying in your lap as often or disliking his regular food, things were already well-along in his mind. Look at this incomplete list of small changes you may have made that had huge effects to his ordered world (see more in part 2 of this story):

1. Maybe you were working longer hours or heading down to the local watering hole for a beer with your friends before going home.
2. Did you rearrange the furniture or bring in a new TV or other large item?
3. Have you been seeing anyone who owns a pet cat? Pet dog?
4. Maybe you changed laundry detergent to save a few dollars.

The point is: Pippin is a living, breathing, intelligent, and emotional being. And you and your house comprise his ‘everything.’ He doesn’t understand why things have changed, just that they have.

Think of Pippin as though he is someone who suffers from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Once a pattern is established, such as the time of day you regularly put out food or clean the litter boxes, Pippin can be easily distressed when that pattern is altered. Even for a day.

Pippin hasn’t been possessed, he’s just been stressed.

Just as with human beings, cats can get stressed-out. This leads, as it does with humans, to inappropriate or destructive behavior. The triggers are just different.

Don’t worry, he still likes you

Studies have shown that cats and humans bond just as affectionately as dogs and humans, but cats display it differently, such as:

1. Rubbing on your legs to show they accept you and your leadership making you the true dominant cat
2. Blinking their eyes slowly at you meaning they have deep affection toward you
3. Rubbing faces with you, which may represent the highest display of love from a cat their human.

Cats are often aloof, but they do care. According to Science Alert, “Like dogs, cats display social flexibility in regard to their attachments with humans,” said animal scientist Kristyn Vitale of Oregon State University. “The majority of cats are securely attached to their owner and use them as a source of security in a novel environment.”

While this may not be the most comforting thought when you pay $1,700.00 for a new bomber jacket, Pippin will win back your heart with those pouting eyes, that soft “Meow,” and his tiny motorboat idling in your lap. Your anger melts away sitting on the couch together watching Jackson Galaxy’s “My Cat From Hell.”

So where have all the good cats gone? Nowhere, they’re still out there. And they may be asking, “Where have all the good humans gone?”

…in part two, we’ll discuss multi-cat households.